Would-be stars go to Hollywood with dreams of being discovered. They spend their golden years hanging out on the Sunset Strip hoping to be seen in the scene … and then they get older, and slowly but surely the dream dies. Angelyne wasn’t so patient …
Angelyne was the first LA “celebrity” famous for doing nothing. Before Paris and Kim made sex tapes and starred on their own reality TV shoes for no apparent reason, Angelyne was the queen bee of useless/talentless fame. Her strategy for getting noticed – buying billboards to promote her “talents!”
Oh, and the Barbie bink Corvette with the vanity plates didn’t hurt either (which she still drive, in an updated model of course!).
Like me, you may be asking yourself what Angelyne’s goal was with all of this shameless self promotion. And to be honest, there doesn’t really seem to be one. She knows she is essentially talentless, and that is the basis for her celebrity (which seems to be enough). She had a few random TV appearances, and ran for the 2003 California recall election, finishing 28th in a field of 135 candidates. Her slogan during the campaign was “We’ve had Gray, we’ve had Brown, now it’s time for some blond and pink.” She was also a candidate for Hollywood city council in 2002 if it were to secede from Los Angeles.
Time has taken her toll on Angelyne, but she is still around doing what she does best. Keep an eye out for her next time you are in la la land!
And so begins SuperRadNow’s week of Hollywood’s lesser-known legends … stay tuned!
At some point, when thinking up a new product, some Japanese toy executive said: “I know! Russian Roulette for kids! That’ll be great!” And so Kaba Kick was created.
The “game” goes like this … you sit down with a bunch of your friends in a circle. One by one you each put the toy gun (made to look like a cute little hippo) to your head and you pull the trigger. You have to load eight rounds of candy colored ammo into your weapon, and one of them is live; if you are the lucky winner you get a swift kick to the head! If you “survive” the round you win and earn points, but if you are kicked (killed) you obviously lose. Gee, sounds like fun, right?!
“But mom, I want to pick up the dog’s poop just like you and daddy do!” How many times have you heard a little girl say that?! Well the execs over at Mattel seemed to think it was a pretty common thing when they came out with Barbie and her Dog Tanner in 1986. With this toy, Barbie comes with a dog named Tanner, a poop scoop, and… well… dog poop.
The poop (a small, brown magnetic pellet) is fed to the dog by inserting it into his mouth (yes, the dog eats poop, though since it comes from the treat box I guess it is supposed to be a cookie at this point). Then Tanner poops it out when you push down on his tail. Barbie (you) can then use the poop scoop (also magnetic) to pick it up and dispose of it in an included trash can. This toy is just as much fun as the real thing!
Truly anatomically correct dolls are a rare thing, and thank god because they really look pretty creepy. Case in point is the Baby Pee Pee Doll made by Spanish company Formosa. This “fun” doll will drink from a bottle, then waddle around on his own as it shouts, “Mummy, wee wee!”, after that the doll will wave its hand over its crotch as pressure mounts in its plastic bladder, then you can pull down the doll’s pants and let it doll pee into a toy potty, sitting down… or standing up. So weird …
There wasn’t much to Aqua Dots, just a bunch of plastic bubbles that weakly bonded when you sprayed a little water on them. The idea was to put them into exciting patterns to create figures so crude they make a Lite Brite look like hi-def. Something so pointless must be harmless, right? Sure, unless you do the one thing most natural thing to a child and ingest one. That’s because Aqua Dots, when exposed to water, form the same chemical as found in date rape drugs. Good one.
Lots of lucky kids get to grow up on a farm, but what about those poor city kids whose urban existence didn’t expose them to such organic experiences? Luckily, in 1977 Kenner Toys was around to ensure that children from all walks of life could get down and dirty with the barnyard beasts, and pretend they were the proprietors of their very own dairy with the one, the only, the amazing – Milky, the Marvelous Milking Cow! Milky will drink water through her see through trough, and then when she’s had enough she will moo to let you know it’s time to milk her. And then, well, that’s it, that’s all! Oh yeah, and there’s a tarp so you don’t make a mess.
I think we all know that there are people out there that love Barbie. I’m not talking about those that played with her when they were little and retain some fond memories, or those that think she is an endearing sort of pop icon. I’m referring specifically to those people that collect, stalk, design for, and live for Barbie. They are part of the Barbie underworld, and these are their dolls …
The Diva - Byron Lars Fenella Layla Barbie Doll
The Artist - Barbie Doll Inspired by Gustav Klimt
The Crooner - Sinatra Barbie Doll
The Bombshell - Farrah Fawcett Barbie
The Sci-Fi Fashion Victim - Goddess of the Galaxy Barbie Doll
The Exotic - Japan Barbie Doll
The Spy - Octopussy Barbie Doll
The Rebel - Debbie Harry Barbie
The Trekkie - Barbie Doll as Lt. Uhura
The Warrior - Barbie as Athena
Who knew?! To check out hundreds more of these incredible creations go to Barbie Collector. I hope you’ll be as amazed as I was!
